Coffee is evil, yet addictive. Coffee is like that ex that makes your heart race and sometimes keeps you up at night. I say this because my pupils look like basketballs at the moment, I had a coffee before my shower & my shampoo is some wild tropical **** so now I’m out here smelling like 5 Alive and bouncing off the walls of my house like I’m a human pin ball. But hey it happens so I’ll try to settle down before my heart collapses like Katt William’s street cred (he hit a kid & the kid put him in a chokehold). Should be interesting….

Speaking of interesting stimulants I know what you’re thinking, Wonderpedia? Yes that’s a real thing! It’s a magazine, a class one I’ll have you know. It’s a place where I learn about sea creatures I’ve never heard of (do you know what a Lamprey is? If not look it up, disgusting) how much Google costs? And how sled dogs work together? Pretty lit! The mag gives me a lot of joy as I sit bored at my desk during my lunch break reading about how Lamprey’s eat and looking at the details of Adam Johnson’s new pay cut from £60,000 per week to £11.00 a week, and I thought I had it bad back when I was on Jobseekers. Here’s to hoping he guards his goalposts well…..

And while we’re on the subject of keeping guard, I love Daredevil on Netflix! What I love the most is the Punisher in it. The Punisher is the guy you wish you had the balls to be but in reality you’re actually Foggy (Foggy is the nice, non-threatening lawyer in the series. But then if you’re a normal human being and you’ve watched the series you already know that). Then of course you have the human Easter egg lookalike Wilson Fisk giving it the awkward Godfather routine, I love it! And there’s the small matter of a gorgeous Elektra with a British accent, heavenly is not the word.

I do feel like a man’s man for once today, I’m finally able to fix something with WD40. The item in question is the padlock for my shed so here goes….bollocks! I give up. I guess I’m not a fixing things type of guy; I’m a deranged, short attention span kind of guy. Never mind, it’s the cards I’m dealt. I do have a major decision in front of me; maybe that’s why I can’t fix the padlock? My mind’s on other things? You see my phone contract is up soon and I’m debating whether to cross over from Android to iPhone, I can imagine there’s some kind of Apple cult that will kidnap me if I do and say something like “welcome brother, do you renounce the ‘Droid?” and Android will be like “Guess I’m not good enough anymore huh?” Like Wired magazine’s version of Jeremy Kyle I presume. Ahh maybe I will cross over because maybe Siri can let me watch Netflix & at the same time tell me how to use WD40 properly.

As per the usual you can catch me @RColly91

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