Yo! What’s up it’s your boy Ryan a.k.a spare tire a.k.a the bargain bucket muppet. Dieting is tough; I just want to say that calories are the root of all evils and drainer of all joy. But I’m tired of people thinking I work at Kwik-fit because I have spare tires like they do. So yes I have greens on deck, I have become one with Bananas and I have been going to the gym & expertly the selfie takers, the posers and the people who stand around and chat like they’re in Starbucks. On that subject I was walking into the gym area and I saw a guy drinking a pre-workout can of energy drink, shout out to you!

Speaking of burning the candle at both ends, my beloved Liverpool had an interesting week in the Premiership. The last time I saw a lead get blown as spectacularly as that was when a fuse shorted in my house and the lights were out for two hours. I just wish our season was as optimistic as Jurgen Klopp’s hairline to be honest, but it’s hard for me to think about football at the moment because the six nations is going on and being Welsh it’s actually in the national anthem that you have to care about rugby (this may or may not be true but facts don’t matter) The six nations is actually cool for me due to the fact that with the Welsh side I also have English and Irish heritage so I win almost every year (I also have Spanish heritage because I’m very exotic)

Also in the news of all round winners, let’s take a minute to celebrate the super flex Jay-Z pulled for the super bowl. If you don’t know, Beyonce performed at halftime and Jay order twenty thousand dollars worth of booze to celebrate the performance. So would that mean 99 problems sobriety aint one? (Sorry)

But I am falling asleep and I want Coco Pops, but like I said I’m trying to live right so I have nothing and my stomach is growling like a Timbaland bass line with my nails scratching like DJ turntables. But I’m listening to J. Cole so it’s not all bad. And with regard to silver linings Daniella Westbrook is apparently in talks to return to Eastenders, which I find interesting because that woman has snorted so much cocaine her nostrils are more fragile than my stomach lining after ten shots of Sambuca. I mean I’m surprised she’s still alive, shout out to her though.

Meh, I’m done for now so I’m gonna go to sleep and no doubt have a traumatising dream about Disaronno, Making of a Murderer and Oasis so wish me luck.

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