West Wales Chronicle editorial team members Josh and Ryan

Colbeck’s Corner 16/03/17

 

 

Okay, I guess I have to begin somewhere…

 

I’ve just seen a video on BBC iPlayer about an interactive condom called the iCon. This may be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen in my life whilst at the same time being the funniest. Basically it’s a condom that tracks your performance during sex in the same way a Fitbit watch does when you run. Things like velocity, girth (it actually tells you how thick your penis is) and it also detects Gonorrhoea or Syphilis. So it would be ideal for most people who go on the Jeremy Kyle show then. Not only can you do these things but of course there’s an accompanying app where you can upload your stats and share it with the world. Wonderful. I have a couple of issues with this. I mean what if the lady or gent that your using this with doesn’t have wifi in their private parts? It won’t sync with the app will it? Will you get to a point where a guy wearing one of these things begins the actual sex bit only to hear his phone ding and a message pops up on the screen saying “connecting, please wait” ? Erections don’t work like that. In a way I would love for this to catch on so people post their personal best online like they do with Crossfit. It would say something like “in 53 strokes today Richard created 0.3 G of thrust and he also discovered he has the clap” I do wonder if humanity is actually going to the dogs sometimes.

 

Britain’s going to the dogs too it seems, it looks like Scotland wants out and Wales are thinking about it too. Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon and PM Theresa May are going at it over Brexit so Sturgeon is upping the ante for an independence referendum. My opinion on why I think all the home nations are better off together rather than apart is this: you find any rich or powerful person on this planet and you’ll find somebody who had help from their friends at some point in time and the same would be said for that persons friends and so on. There is no such thing as doing it totally on your own if you really want to prosper. In a world where markets are so competitive that your counterparts can offer the same things as you on your own but on a higher scale and with a cheaper cost you don’t become successful by isolation but by collaboration. That’s my opinion, nothing more nothing less.

 

Now on to more positive news….Liverpool have won two league games in a row!!!! Yes, yes you read that correctly, I’m so happy to say that was not a typo and believe me thanks to my spelling there’s usually a few of those. We beat Arsenal 3-1 and now we’ve beaten Burnley 2-1. I hope this is not another false dawn from Jurgen Klopp and company, my soul can’t take much more of this roller coaster stuff. Speaking of roller coasters what about Leicester City lasting longer than Manchester City in the Champion’s League? Leicester are through to the Quarter finals while City are out despite the amount of money that City throw at their squad. Truly amazing! Although there was some fantastic pantomime acting going on in the game but I suppose that’s modern day football for you.

 

In other sport news there’s a BIG fight happening in boxing this weekend. Middleweight titans Gennady Golovkin from Kazakhstan and Danny Jacobs from Brooklyn, New York will square off this weekend at Madison Square Garden in New York City. Also known as Triple G (His middle name is Gennadyevich which in itself is a knockout score in Scrabble, how mental is that? This guy is so badass could knock you off the table in a game just by spelling his name!) Golovkin is currently 36-0 with 33 of those wins coming by knockout is currently on a streak of 22 consecutive knockout victories while Jacobs is 32-1 with 29 wins by KO and since making a comeback after surviving a serious case of bone cancer which left him unable to walk without assistance has racked up 12 consecutive knockouts. On that subject Vice Sports did a feature on Danny Jacobs and his journey with the cancer, it’s on their Youtube channel so if you haven’t seen it watch it and you will be a fan of his when you’re done. I’ve always been a huge fan of both guys and I’m telling you if there’s anyone at middleweight who can beat Golovkin it’s Brooklyn native Jacobs. He is by far GGG’s toughest opponent to date and I cannot wait for this.

 

Well that’s all for this week, I hope you’ve enjoyed my drivel and if you haven’t I question your life choices.

 

Laters.


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