A Woman’s World

I will be 80 next year so, looking back on my life, I give thanks that I have lived a full and adventurous one. I never wanted children although I do like them. I needed to live the life that I chose and I did exactly that. 

I became a feminist at about the age of 14.I started reading books by famous feminists because I needed to learn from them and as I read the stronger I became and I knew that I would have to face the vicissitudes of life but these amazing women were showing me how. I focussed on each challenge that I knew I would have to face and basically went for it. 

On the way, growing up and meeting other feminists, it was important for me to learn that I had to help other women. So I involved myself in Women’s Shelters, supporting women who suffered domestic violence and abuse. 

I also helped with 4 other women to set up the first Rape Crisis Centre in this country. So enough of me. This is just to explain how my young life started and what I wanted to do with it.

There were so many hardships for women that I saw on my life’s journey that they horrified me. Many women wanted equality as I did. There were even religious women and nuns who wanted to be priests. At a particular meeting I attended where some nuns were speaking, young priests stood up and shouted “Burn the heretics, burn the heretics.” 

So the challenges are great. In a church at a service I was invited to attend to hear this particular pastor, I could not believe my ears. Apparently he started his sermon like this every Sunday. He would always ask the women in the congregation to cross their legs and then would say, “Now that the gates to hell have been closed I will begin my sermon.” These were examples of the hardships that women had to endure that I learned on my journey through life.

I would like to think that women’s lives have improved over the years but when we look at the world around us,we realise that, yes, they have changed but not necessarily for the better. Let us look at some examples such as Gisele Pelicot who was drugged by her husband on a regular basis and he then invited men to come and rape her. 51 men accepted the invitation. 

The husband filmed these rapes. One of them was even HIV positive and he accepted six times. She discovered later that she was carrying 4 sexually transmitted diseases. She very courageously decided to come out in public to protect other women who might be too frightened to tell people what their husbands were doing to them.

I am often accused of being a man hater but this is not so. I will always stand up for women who are suffering but I am aware that not all men behave in this way. However there are too many and they must be punished. I do hate men who hurt women but I know men who would never behave in this fashion and that is of course the right way to behave. However, these men have to stand up and be counted and not stand by when women are being cruelly treated.

An example of this is the Israeli lads who gang raped a young women while on holiday. They were eventually punished but at that time because Israel had not easily given them up, it took a while to have them extradited. At another time there were a great many women being raped and the then Prime Minister, Golda Meir brought this up in Parliament. 

A male MP suggested that women should have a curfew to protect them. Golda Meir was furious. She told the Knesset that the women were the victims and you do not punish victims. If there were to be a curfew then the men should have it as they were the perpetrators. This idea of curfew was never mentioned again.

In the early years of women fighting for their rights, we looked to America where women were involved. Men had , in English-speaking countries, the word MR as their title. Women had MRS or MISS so we always had to explain our marital state whereas men did not. American feminists decided that we should have the word MS. This would be the equivalent of MR so no explanation was required . We all took that idea on board so MS is now an accepted title officially on all documentation. I am extremely proud to be an MS.

When we look at the World of Work we see another form of harassment. There are all sorts of examples that women have had to endure in the work place. I have interviewed women about their work and one woman told me how she was being overworked. She never complained to the boss until one day she really needed to express her feelings. He told her that she was too emotional and that was why she was stressed. He refused to discuss her work load.

Another woman told me that at her job interview, the boss hired her and told her that they were not bothered about her degree but she looked good and was easy on the eye. Another woman was offered a job because she had nice legs. When dealing with clients, another woman, on an equal level as her male colleagues, found that the clients called them “Sir” and her “Love”. She felt degraded and humiliated because her male colleagues never corrected them.

A female colleague decided to use the word MS in future as she found it very useful, being impersonal. One of the guys in the office asked if she was divorced.

One amusing anecdote was passed on to me by a group of women. They were all coming for an important meeting when a male colleague walked in, took one look at them, all women, and said that no-one was in there yet and went off for a coffee. Thankfully he was severely disciplined.

At another job interview a young woman had comments made about her shoes because they were considered very plain. The question asked was that as she wore shoes like that, was she a lesbian?

One woman was a personal assistant to a female boss,who was asked to book a work flight for her as she had business abroad. The travel agent assumed that her boss was male.These are some of the everyday events that affect women.

Hopefully one day but not in my lifetime that things will change for the better.