Basic Relationship Steps Being Ignored?

As divorce and dissolution rates have risen almost 30%, it’s feared basic steps to save relationships are being ignored. 

The most recent ONS data reveals that, in England and Wales, there were 80,582 divorces in 2022, but this shot up to 103,816 in 2023. 

 With the most common ground for divorce being unreasonable behaviour, and the average duration of marriage before divorce being around 12 years, relationship gurus think it might be easier than expected to save partnerships. 

In fact, there is an interest to save rather than scupper, searches for terms like ‘relationship coach’ have seen a 34% increase over the past four years across the UK. 

When broken down further, Northern Ireland has seen a 26% boom, England a 25% increase, and Scotland and Wales a 7% and 2% rise respectively. 

Searches for relationship coach and 329 related keywords
	2021	2025	Percentage Change
United Kingdom	6,630	8,910	34
England	5,890	7,340	25
Wales	1,220	1,250	2
Scotland	1,490	1,600	7
Northern Ireland	880	1,110	26

Tom and Isabelle, experts at Talking Kinky, shared their top tips to save a dying relationship in just 30 days. 

1. Make time to connect  

“You carve out time for gym sessions, dinners with friends, and endless scrolling, so why not do the same for your relationship? It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, even setting aside 20 minutes can make a difference. The key is actually booking it in,” shared Tom. 

“Treat your relationship like something worth prioritising rather than something that only gets time once everything else is done.” 

2. Be properly present
“You’ve set time aside, but there’s no point if one of you is mentally halfway through tomorrow’s to-do list. Presence means putting away the distractions, that includes the telly and your phone,” Talking Kinky’s Isabelle prompted. 

“Even ten minutes of undisturbed, intentional time together can feel more intimate than an hour on the sofa while also replying to work emails. It’s not about quantity; it’s about showing the other person that you’re really there. Attention is the love language no one really talks about.” 

3. Communicate properly 

 
“You’re now present, but that’s not always enough, it’s very easy to start slipping into logistical conversations: who’s doing the shop, who’s paid the bills, whose looking after the kids, that’s not emotional connection,” Tom urged. 

“Talk about more than just the day-to-day. Share your wins, your worries, your weird little thoughts. 

“Don’t save all your honest chats for arguments or drunken date nights. Practice the good stuff, tell them when they’ve made you feel loved, or what you miss from when you first got together.” 

4. Learn to ‘see’ each other again  

“Familiarity breeds a kind of blindness, we stop noticing the person right in front of us. Try slowing down and observing them with fresh eyes,” suggested Isabelle.  

“Watch how they laugh. Notice how they make their tea. Compliment something you haven’t in a while. These small acts remind you of the reasons you fell for them in the first place.” 

5. Bring back touch
“Touch is easy to neglect, especially when life feels busy or stressful. But physical connection doesn’t have to be steamy or serious, it can be a cuddle on the sofa, a foot rub, or holding hands while you wait for the kettle to boil. Reignite the soft stuff,” Talking Kinky’s Tom encouraged. 

“Try short bursts of contact throughout the day, a quick back scratch, a proper hug, or even just brushing against each other while passing by. Bonus points if you can throw in some five-senses play: light candles, give each other a taste of something sweet, or find a massage oil you both like.”