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The quiet drift: millions feel trapped in relationships by finances and shared responsibilities 

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Relationships thrive on communication and trust, with 46% of UK adults stating that trust is their most important component (1). But amid ongoing financial pressures, some couples may be finding that practical considerations are becoming just as influential as emotional ones when deciding to stay together. 

A survey conducted by Stowe Family Law of 2000 UK adults examined where couples see their relationship in five years, how they resolve conflict, and whether their relationship has affected their personal identity, ambitions or career growth. The findings suggest that while some relationships may be quietly drifting apart emotionally, factors such as finances, housing costs and shared responsibilities may be making it harder for couples to separate. 

2.1million Brits are predicted to be staying in a relationship for practical reasons 

Around a tenth (6.65%) of those surveyed said they are uncertain about their long-term future, but they remain with their partner for practical reasons such as finances, shared responsibilities and living arrangements. The findings suggest that, for most couples, practical reasons outweigh the emotional ones when deciding whether to stay or leave a relationship. 

This comes as recent Office for National Statistics (ONS) figures revealed that the average duration of a marriage ending in divorce reached 13 years in 2025, the longest on record (2). While there are many factors behind longer-lasting marriages, the financial implications of separation may be playing an increasingly important role. 

The research also found that nearly 13% of people say their partner feels more like a friend or housemate than a romantic partner. This figure rises to 18.5% among 25-34-year-olds and 19.5% among Gen Z, suggesting younger couples may feel this drift earlier than many would have thought.

Amy* met her partner, Ben* almost 15 years ago through a friend of a friend, and when they met, sparks flew.

“Having come out of an incredibly short marriage at just 23, it wasn’t a relationship I was out looking for – it just sort of all fell into place. After a couple of years, he asked me if we wanted to move in together, and I said yes.”

“We were happily together for many years, looked after our nieces, and from the outside had a perfect relationship. But seven years later, Ben’s attitude changed, he was frustrated at work and it impacted his general happiness at home too. It really had a ripple effect, and over time, I lost all romantic feelings towards him.”

“More than once, I’d consider leaving the relationship as it clearly wasn’t working. Financially, though, it just didn’t make sense. Together, we both had a good balance and we had savings together, but if I was to leave, I’d probably be back in with my parents and then renting for the rest of my life.”

“We still have a close relationship but he’s definitely more of a roommate to me, and it’s really impacted our sexual relationship – in fact, it’s non-existent – that’s what vibrators are for, right? I’m definitely craving time alone, and hope to be in a situation where we are able to move out and completely separate. Safe to say, romance is not on the cards in the future.”

*Names have been changed for privacy reasons

As the cost of maintaining separate households continues to rise, family lawyers are increasingly seeing cases where couples remain together for practical reasons long after the emotional connection has begun to fade. Anu Kaur, Team Leader Partner and leading Family Lawyer in London, had this to say about the impact a quiet drift has in a relationship: 

“I rarely see relationships end because of one isolated incident. More often, what emerges in an initial consultation is something quieter and more gradual, a long erosion of emotional connection, curiosity and shared purpose.

“From the outside, the marriage may have appeared perfectly functional, sometimes there was no dramatic betrayal, no obvious crisis but internally, the couple have been living increasingly separate lives, often becoming adept at covering over the cracks because life just continues on.

“In my view, the ‘quiet drift’ becomes something worth addressing when it ceases to be a passing phase and begins to shape the architecture of the relationship, when difficult conversations are consistently postponed; when one or both partners privately begin planning a future without the other in it; or when the relationship starts to feel more like a logistical arrangement than an intimate partnership.

“Marriages do not always end with a bang. Sometimes, they end quietly. One unanswered conversation, one postponed decision, or years of living parallel lives at a time. The warning sign is not always the argument. Sometimes, it is the silence.”


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